Here are four great books on marriage to add to your reading list.
Are you looking for a book on marriage to read? You know, right after you read my book, Team Us: Marriage Together?
(How could I resist throwing that in there, right? Please tell me you’re laughing at my shameless plug. I know I am!)
But I digress. Let’s get back to my original question. If you’re looking for some great books on marriage, here are four I’ve recently read or are in the process of reading and highly recommend.
When I wrote Team Us: Marriage Together, I didn’t write it for marriages in crisis. Instead, I intended it specifically for engaged or newly married couples just starting out, as well as for husbands and wives who’d been married longer and simply wanted to “better” their already solid relationship.
Yet I realize that there are lots of marriages out there that are in crisis. Marriages that are struggling. Really, really struggling. And that’s why I’m grateful for authors and bloggers like my friend, Jennifer Smith of Unveiled Wife. Her book, The Unveiled Wife: Embracing Intimacy with God and Your Husband, offers much-needed hope to these marriages.
Unveiled Wife is an autobiography of Jennifer and her husband Aaron’s marriage. In it, she addresses three areas she struggled with as a young wife: expectations, imperfections, and insecurities. Jennifer candidly talks about the difficulties they experienced when it comes to sex, pornography, romance novels, and even married crushes. She shares her journey of learning what real intimacy is — both with the Lord and with Aaron.
What do I love most about this book? How vulnerable Jennifer is. She isn’t afraid to openly share their struggles in an effort to encourage and help other couples. As a result, I have no doubt that this book is going to be a game changer for a lot of wives.
One of Us Must Be Crazy … and I’m Pretty Sure It’s You: Making Sense of the Differences That Divide Us
A few months ago, the lead pastor at our church tackled the topic of conflict in marriage and drew from Tim and Joy Downs’ book, One of Us Must Be Crazy … and I’m Pretty Sure It’s You: Making Sense of the Differences That Divide Us. After hearing his message, I immediately went home and ordered this book from Amazon. If you want to hear the sermon that sold me on it, you can watch that below.
While I’m still in the process of reading One of Us Must Be Crazy … and I’m Pretty Sure It’s You, I am loving how practical it is. It speaks directly to some of the areas where Ted and I struggle with understanding why we have reoccurring conflict and offers helpful ideas on how to work through our disagreements in a healthy, relationship-building manner.
Ted and I are part of our church’s premartial mentoring program. We have the privilege of spending 10 weeks at a time with an engaged couple and helping them prepare for their marriage. We love it!
While the primary book we discuss with the couples is Dennis Rainey’s Preparing for Marriage, we also have the books For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn on hand as additional resources. These books are based on lots of research — which is part of what makes them so interesting and helpful.
Like One of Us Must Be Crazy … and I’m Pretty Sure It’s You, I’m still working my way through these books, but I have to say the Feldhahn’s had me hooked by the end of the first chapter in For Men Only (I had to read both books since they are discussion tools). It’s titled “The Deal Is Never Closed: Why Her ‘I Do’ Will Always Mean ‘Do You?’ and What to Do About It.” After I read this chapter, I immediately found Ted and said, “I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m not crazy. Read this chapter.”
I highly recommend picking up a copy of both books and reading the corresponding chapters together. They are fantastic conversation starters!
What about you? Have you read a book on marriage that you’ve loved?
If so, I want to hear about it! Share the book’s name and why you found it so helpful in a comment below. And, if you’ve read one of these books I’ve mentioned and found it beneficial, I want to hear about that too.
What if you’re reading this post and you’re not married? If that’s the case, tell me about a relationship book (think: parenting, friendship, etc.) that you’ve read recently and loved.
Let’s spend some time discussing great books together.