3 Steps to Starving Your Married Crush Quickly

It was five summers ago. The lazy mid-day warmth of June filled the window-framed room at our local library. The chilly air of spring was behind us.

Emotionally, it had been a difficult few months. The responsibilities of daily life held a strong grasp on my husband Ted’s attention. And whether reality agreed with me or not, I’d come to feel neglected, unnoticed, and unloved.

As my two young daughters sat on daisy-shaped stools, participating in the branch’s weekly toddler time, my gaze wandered around the room, studying the other parents. It was then that I noticed a 30-something father with his two small sons. Something about him caused my gaze to linger.

Later, as I buckled my daughters into their car seats, my thoughts returned to this stranger.

That’s when concern set in. I realized the seeds of a crush were attempting to take root, and my fragile emotional state was fertile ground. I felt my resolve to keep my heart steadfastly faithful to my husband wanting to waiver.

Snapping back to my senses, I made a decision. No more toddler time — at least for now. I was unwilling to return to a situation where a crush had the potential to develop.

Newlyweds Can Have Crushes Too

You may be thinking, “What’s this story have to do with me? I’m newly married.” But before you stop reading, hear me out.

Even though, yes, you’re just starting out, that doesn’t leave you immune to crushes. I’d venture to guess you’ve brought a pesky thing called “unrealistic expectations” into your new union — and when unmet, they can leave you vulnerable if you aren’t careful.

In her article “Marriage Killer #1: Unrealistic Expectations,” Kimberly Wagner writes:

I didn’t grasp the “big picture” when I entered into my marriage covenant. I was thinking romance, sunset walks holding hands, cuddling together on the couch. Basically I thought marriage was going to be something like a fifty-year date! I had a rude awakening. Reality settles in quickly, and a young bride can end up crushed with disappointment if she enters marriage with unrealistic expectations.

With this “rude awakening” can come the temptation to scope out “greener fields.” Perhaps it’s a co-worker who listens better than your spouse. Or, it could be an individual at the gym who — unlike your husband or wife — shares your concern for health and fitness. If you’re disappointed or disillusioned in your new marriage, you may be tempted to seek affirmation elsewhere.

[Read the rest of the article at Start Marriage Right.]

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Ashleigh Slater is the author of the books, Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage and Braving Sorrow Together: The Transformative Power of Faith and Community When Life is Hard. She loves to combine the power of a good story with practical application to encourage and inspire readers.