I’m 49% Mother and 51% Wife — And It Has to Be That Way

Posted by on March 27, 2015 in Articles & Posts, Culture, Marriage | 8 comments

I'm 49% Mother and 51% Wife -- And It Has to Be That Way

Right now, I’m in the daily trenches of training my four daughters. Trenches filled with temperamental rollercoasters, invisible ink, and sass. And it’s serious business. It takes a lot of physical, mental, and emotional energy to, as Proverbs 22:6 says, “train up a child in the way he [or in my case, ‘she’] should go.”

That’s why judgment was the last thing on my tongue when I recently read a post on GoodHousekeeping.com titled, “I’m 99% Mother and 1% Wife – And It Has to Be That Way.” You see, as a fellow mom, I understood this writer’s point that parenting is exhausting and time consuming. It is. I get it. I bet you do too.

Here’s the thing, though: No matter how exhausting or demanding parenting may personally be for me, my husband and our marriage will always come before my kids.


Yep, I’m 49% mother and 51% wife — and, at my house, it has to be that way.

What does that mean exactly?

I’m over at iBelieve discussing what this looks like in our family and three reasons it has to be that way. You can read my article “I’m 49% Mother and 51% Wife — And It Has to Be That Way” here.

What about you? Do you agree or disagree with me? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.




  1. this article is just awesome! It definitely changed my way of thinking. It is true every word of it. May God bless you and your family.

    • Thanks for your kind words, Daphne. I’m so glad it impacted you. Many blessings to you and your family.

  2. Well said!! As a mother of 3 kids in 3 years it is hard to make your marriage and husband a priority over your children, however we must! I am now on the other side, I am early 40’s and have all adult children with our last leaving for college this fall. If we had not made our marriage a priority during those young children years and the draining tween & teen years, we would be strangers with all this sudden free time on our hands. Put the work in now while you are in the trenches of parenting, the rewards are sweet along the way and even better when your nest is emptying. We are drenched in love with each other and we love the life we have together with our adult children but even more with out them 😉 Press on young mothers, pursue your husband, make time for a passionate love life, laugh together & love your husband well let your kids know he comes first. Your kids are watching and will replicate your relationship.

    • Lyn, thanks for sharing your story and encouraging other wives and mothers!

  3. So glad you posted this. I had not read the other article until now. My husband coming last is not okay. My boys know that Dad is before them. My marriage is forever. If I do my job right, they will leave one day.

  4. I read the other article and I felt so sad for that lady and her husband. Their marriage is in a tricky dilemma as she hopes that her husband will still want to take her out when she is done taking care of the kids. She seems to have not gotten the memo that it should be a dual cause for both to take care of the kids and that stems from them being united as a couple, united as God has designed for them to be. This is why you are sooooo right! Your marriage has to be a priority. You have to work on learning each other and knowing each other so that your team can be strong as you not only take care of the kids but do the other 80% of the things that require your attention. Thanks Ash for sharing this wonderful message. I am a believer of this truth! Thanks!

    • Thanks for your comment and affirming words, Madame B!

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